The Witch of the Woods
by The Muses of Mars
Summary: Prince Noctis is about to get a lesson in manners...from a witch...in the form of a curse! Rating for language and brief sexual themes. (Requested by Shiranai Atsune.) Ignis x Noct
1. The Curse is Invoked

It was late afternoon and already growing dark in the forest, the tree canopy overhead partially obscuring the sunlight. After Gladio had told him to shut up and suck it up, Prompto had stopped complaining out loud about the gnats and mosquitoes that were eating him alive, but they were all a little miserable because of the nasty little bloodsuckers. So when the crooked shingles of a dilapidated roof came into view, the four men were hopeful that this was the place they were looking for.

"At last," Noct sighed, "a house. Think this is the one?"

"Do we know the address so we can check?" Prompto asked.

"There's no address, you idiot," Noct snapped. "We're in the middle of the woods!"

"…Oh, yeah."

"That can't be the right place," Gladio said, stopping just behind the treeline, before the forest gave way to a little clearing. "That house is falling apart! I seriously doubt anybody lives there now."

"Look," said Ignis, pointing to the cloud drifting above the house's smokestack. "The chimney's active; someone must be home."

"Well, come on!" Noct urged his friends. "Let's get this over with so we can get out of here."

With grunts of agreement, the other three followed after Noct. The group breached the clearing and headed down the path that led over the hillside and around the front of a sorry little shack. The yard, if it could be called that, was fenced in by a crumbling brick wall. A tiny side table and chair were planted next to what looked like a barn door leading into the home, both covered in mold from disuse. As they approached, a shadowy figure came creeping from around the side of the house.

The group came to a collective halt. In the lead, Gladio flung out one of his arms to ward the others back, reaching for the hilt of his greatsword with his other hand. But he relaxed his stance a little when it became obvious they were being greeted by a frail old woman, a black shawl cloaking her head and shoulders. Something felt a bit off about her, they could all sense. But her appearance, at least, was harmless.

Noct was the first to recover and speak up. "H-hello."

"Greetings to you, child," the old woman croaked in response. With a sudden shriek, the wooden gate bolted to the stone wall surrounding the yard creaked open.

Gladio swallowed and, against his better judgment, stepped forward.

The four of them entered the yard where the old woman waited, her hands hidden behind her back.

"Welcome, dearies." The hag grinned, baring yellow teeth at them. "It is I, Kimya, you seek?"

"Just…searching for a dogtag," Noct explained, trying not to inhale her rotting breath.

The woman nodded with understanding, her head moving in shaky movements that couldn't seem to stop once they got going. "Belonged to a fallen Hunter, it did, yes? Deep inside the woods, found it, I did. Sent here by their leader, you were? Come to collect this tag, you have?"

Noct was getting a little impatient with the woman's strange speech. He grunted, "More or less."

Gladio looked the woman over with suspicion and morbid curiosity. "How come the Hunters aren't allowed here, anyway?" he asked suddenly. "Apparently this place is off-limits to the whole organization."

"Because a strong emnity toward me, they bear. Cast me out into the forest, they did. A 'witch,' they called me!"

"Wha—?!" Prompto cried, taking a step behind Gladio.

"What the hell?" Noct muttered.

The woman took his oath to be a request for further explanation. "Brew potions, I do; so," she cackled, "a witch, I must be!"

"A-Are you s-s-serious?" Prompto stammered, now holding onto the back of Gladio's jacket as he peeked over his shoulder.

"Believe so, you do?" the witch demanded. Her eyes flashed with anger.

Ignis had not yet been noticed by the strange woman. He took the opportunity to do some investigating, quietly slipping around the corner of the house to have a look around.

"Look, lady—miss witch—whatever," Noct interrupted. "We're only here for the tag, so…just give it to us, and we'll be on our way."

"Onto my land, you trespass! Demands you dare make!" The woman spit at Noct. "Insolent boy!"

"Not the first time I've been called that," Noctis admitted with a shrug.

Gladio slapped the prince's chest with the back of his hand, pushing him out of the way and nearly knocking the breath out of him while he was at it. "Listen," he said, dragging Prompto on his coattails as he stepped closer, "we're real sorry for the intrusion, ma'am, but we were asked to retrieve that tag as a favor to a good friend. Is there anything we can offer you in exchange for it, our way of saying thanks for finding it for us and keeping it safe?"

The woman cocked her head at him, her eyes glittering with suspicion.

"It doesn't belong to you, so hand it over," Noct ordered when it didn't seem as though she was going to take the bribe.

Her eyes became slits. "A lesson, you should learn," the old woman snarled, "in manners."

"We've been trying to teach him for years, believe me," Gladio sighed. "Please, can I offer you payment for the tag? Does three-thousand gil seem a fair price?"

Noct's jaw dropped. That was an awful lot of money to trade for someone else's property. They weren't even getting anything out of this. "Gladio!" he growled through gritted teeth, "what are you doing?"

"A use for your money, you think I have?" The woman laughed bitterly.

"Well…" Gladio glanced at the rundown shack dismally. "Yeah, I do."

"I do not!" she countered furiously. "But the tag, I have, and a use for it, I have not." She reached into the folds of her shawl and drew the tag out from the blouse of her black dress. She held it up to the light of the setting sun so they could verify its authenticity. "Take it!" she screamed, ripping it from her neck with a strength that belied her fragile frame. "And vex me no more!" She threw it to the ground, cast one last hateful stare at Noct, then went back into her house. They didn't see her touch them with her hands, but the barn doors suddenly slammed shut behind her.

* * *

"Do you guys really think that old lady was a-a witch?" Prompto asked, his voice a little shaky.

It was twilight now and they were hurrying to make it to a safe place to set up camp before it got too dark to see.

"Yeah," Gladio said, "and tonight she just might be coming back for her payment." He leered at Prompto.

Prompto's eyes widened. "P-P-Payment?"

"Have you not heard?" Ignis chimed in. "Witches always require adequate compensation for their services. Usually in the form of innocent children—for snacks."

"Better watch out, Prompto," Gladio warned. "You're the youngest one here."

Prompto cried out, running ahead to catch up to Noct, who was leading the way. "They-they're joking, right?"

"Grow up, Prompto," Noctis sighed. "They're just fucking with you. There's no such thing as witches; that old bat was just fruity. The Hunters probably banned their people from the forest because it's inhabited by a lunatic."

Suddenly something rustled in the brush off to the right, causing both boys to stop in their tracks. Then from out of nowhere a large, black crow flew directly across their path, cawing loudly in an angry voice. Its cries nearly sounded like human speech…and it almost seemed like the bird was calling, _"Pay! Pay! Pay!"_

Prompto let out a scream and covered his head with both arms. Although the sudden flurry had startled Noct, too, he wasn't actually afraid, and he was annoyed that Prompto had been so easily duped by a headcase and their friends' lame jokes.

"Great going, guys," Noct complained over his shoulder. "So which one of you is babysitting tonight? 'Cause I'm not."

"Aw, the little squirt can sleep in my tent," Gladio offered, catching up to the younger men. He threw an arm around Prompto's neck and gave him a noogie.

While Prompto's arms were flailing, trying to beat Gladio off of him, Ignis caught up to Noct. Their hands brushed intentionally as they started walking again. "And _I'll_ sleep in _your_ tent…" the older man murmured quietly, "if you feel inclined to some company…?"

Noct nodded slowly, trying not to grin. "Sounds good, Specs," he replied under his breath so that the other two wouldn't hear. He and Ignis had become intimately close as of late, but hadn't announced it to anyone else. After all, they were on a mission, and things like that could be a distraction. There was no way Gladio would approve, and Prompto would probably just be confused. So they were keeping their relationship status on the down-low for the time being.

* * *

They weren't quite out of the forest yet, but at least they'd finally found a safe place to pitch their tents. Gladio got a fire going while Ignis planned out their evening meal. Trail mix and beef jerky didn't cut it with the culinary master—at least not while Noctis was around. The tactician was more concerned with the boy's diet than his own, always making certain he cooked him a well-balanced meal that was both healthy and satisfying.

As for Noct, the prince offered to patrol the perimeter and make certain no daemons were lurking nearby. Ignis didn't like him going off on his own, but he and Gladio had other chores to perform and Prompto was refusing to leave Gladio's side, so there hadn't been any alternative.

Noctis did as Gladio had taught him and marched northward, counting out about a hundred paces from their campsite. Then he turned around and looked back at the firelight, gauging his distance, and began circling around it while looking for any signs of trouble.

But it was taking a long time, and it was boring as hell, so Noctis gave up before he'd finished even a quarter of the check. He figured he could pretend, and no one would know the difference. Instead, he plopped down behind the widest tree he could find, whipped out his cell phone, dimmed the screen as low as it would go, and loaded up his favorite game, King's Knight.

Music suddenly blared from the phone's speaker. Noctis panicked, quickly trying to turn the volume down before he got busted. By the time he had the game silenced, no one had yelled for him, so he thought he must be safe. He logged in, selected his character, then tried to remember what he'd been doing the last time he played so he could pick back up where he left off.

Noct opened his character's inventory and started checking out the loot he'd picked up from his last session, but he couldn't concentrate. Something didn't feel right. He pressed the phone to his chest, cloaking its faint light. He looked to the left and right and dead ahead…but didn't see anything. Or hear anything.

That was it. It was too quiet. He couldn't even hear the sounds of insects anymore.

Noct braced a hand against the tree and pushed himself to his feet. He pocketed his cell phone and began to slowly, quietly resume his original task.

There came a rustling in the trees above, and he froze, looking straight up. Then he saw it again—the black crow from before, perched on a tree limb, staring down at him with one eye, its head turned to the side.

"No way!" Noct said out loud. There was no way that was the same freaking bird. "Bah. You all look the same," he grunted. "Ugly."

The bird flapped its wings and hopped up into the air, turning itself around on the branch. Noctis watched, wondering what it was planning to do—fly away, build a nest? Then he got his answer.

"Oh—ew! Gross!" The prince swatted at his hair, coating his hand in a hot, thick, sticky white mess. "That's disgusting!" he screamed. "Filthy fucker!" He bent down to retrieve a stick, then flung it up at the tree branch, sending the bird scattering. "Serves you right, dirty bastard," he spat furiously.

After that, he gave up on the perimeter check altogether and headed back to camp to complain to Ignis.

* * *

"I've never felt so… _violated_." Noct shuddered.

"There, there," Ignis soothed, toweling the prince's hair dry. "It's gone. Your hair's fresh and clean and nearly dry."

Seated inside his tent, his elbows propped on his knees, Noctis buried his face in his hands with despair. "I feel like it'll never be clean again!"

"Come now, no need to be dramatic." Ignis laughed, tossing the towel aside. He was seated behind the prince, helping to dry his hair after he'd given it a thorough washing for the boy. He wrapped his arms around Noct's shoulders and drew him back against his bare chest, nuzzling his ebony strands and giving his head a kiss to show him what he said was true. "Are you certain you won't eat anything? I know you're upset, my darling Highness, but…"

Noct struggled to get out of Ignis's arms and flopped face-down onto his sleeping bag. "I just wanna die," he wailed, his voice muffled against his pillow.

"…I suppose lovemaking is off the menu?" Ignis asked, still sounding hopeful.

"If you don't mind, I'd rather not," Noct pouted.

"It's fine." Ignis drew a blanket up over the boy, gently tucking him in. "You'll feel better in the morning, and Gladio will forget all about this…eventually."

The other man's laughter was still ringing in Noct's ears. "I've never been so humiliated."

"Hush up." Ignis kissed the back of Noctis's neck affectionately, gently patted his upper back, then turned out the light and curled up against him, cuddling his smaller body close.

He was awakened early the next morning by the sounds of screams.


	2. The Curse Manifests

Ignis opened his bleary eyes and blinked in the early morning light that just barely lit up the tent. "Noct?" he called, his voice high and hoarse with panic. The boy had sounded strange, terrified out of his mind.

"Ignis!" a voice squeaked back, cracking as Noct choked on a sob.

Ignis was trying to disentangle himself from blankets and sleeping bags at the same time Noct was trying to grab at him, which did more harm than good.

"Noct, please!" Ignis said sternly, trying to regain control of the situation. "Help me find my glasses. I can't see you clearly!"

Noct was panting hard, like he'd been running a marathon on the streets of the Crown City. But he found Ignis's glasses first, succeeding only in stabbing the man in the eye with a stem as he tried to force them onto his face.

"Let me do it," Ignis snapped reproachfully, taking the glasses from the boy's hands. He gently rubbed his eye, then settled the glasses on his nose properly so he could see. Only he couldn't believe what—or who—was kneeling next to him when his vision came into focus.

Ignis's mouth fell open. He didn't even know what to say.

"It's me, Iggy," the girl croaked, tears streaming down her pale face. "I-I-I woke up and had to pee, so I got up and walked over behind a tree, and then—" She shuddered, looking pitiful in a now slightly-oversized black T-shirt. "I dropped my sweatpants and…it was gone!"

"…'It'?" Ignis repeated in a gasp. "You mean—your…? And you've got a…?"

"I don't understand!" Noct cried. "How does a guy go to bed one night and wake up the next day a _chick?!"_

"Now, now… Let's just…calm down." Ignis reached out and took hold of the girl's shoulders, looking at her analytically. Her jet black hair was the same length and style as Noct's; her face had the relative shape of the prince's, though the angles were a bit softer. She felt even smaller than the prince, the hard muscles of his arms transformed into delicate, sinewy limbs. And his lean torso had…blossomed. But the eyes…the eyes were the same he had always known—smoky, blue-gray irises framed by feathery dark lashes.

"I believe you, Noct," Ignis said in a low voice. "The question is, how did this happen? And how can we change you back?"

"Please help me!" Noctis begged, clinging to Ignis. "I don't want this! I can't—I can't stay this way!

"Shh, shh, Highness…" Ignis gently soothed. He cradled the girl to his chest and let her cry. But then they hurt shouts coming from outside of the tent.

Noctis gasped. "Gladio!" she hissed. "He can't see me like this, Ignis! He'd never let me live it down!"

"Do not fear," Ignis said evenly. "Cover yourself up and pretend to be sleeping. Better if you can actually calm yourself and rest some more; I'll deal with the others."

"But—"

"Noct." Ignis cupped her face, gently wiping her tears with his thumbs. "I'll take care of you. You must believe that and trust me." He kissed her forehead.

Noct squeezed her eyes shut, tears spilling over both cheeks in a sudden downpour. But she nodded and crawled into her sleeping bag when Ignis released her. Ignis gave her one last, sympathetic look, then crawled out of the tent.

* * *

Gladio was on his way over, still in his boxers and the sleeveless tank he slept in. "Hey!" he called when he saw Ignis emerging from Noct's tent, shirtless. "What's going on over here?" he demanded.

Ignis stood up and adjusted his glasses, putting on a casual air. "His Highness had a nightmare, that's all. I heard his screams and rushed over and found him thrashing about. I gently woke him, and once he'd calmed himself, soothed him back to sleep."

"Back to sleep?" Gladio repeated with a frown. "It's morning. He should be getting his ass outta bed so we can grab breakfast and get back on the road."

"I can get him up," Prompto offered, trotting up to the others in his pajamas.

Ignis quickly stepped in front of the tent's opening, standing like a guard at its entrance. "The prince has a severe fever," he announced deliberately so Noct would hear. "He must have caught a nasty cold from the damp weather yesterday—or perhaps a disease-ridden mosquito passed an illness on to him. Regardless, we shall have to remain camped here today. He shouldn't be moved."

Prompto and Gladio looked stunned and concerned. "If it's that bad, maybe we should run and fetch a doctor," Gladio suggested. "Give me the keys to the Regalia and I'll take care of it. We're not that far from Old Lestallum; I could be back in a few hours."

"No, I don't think it's all that serious," Ignis said quickly. "I have a special recipe for just such symptoms, and after a day of rest, my concoction should have him back on his feet on the morrow."

"What symptoms?" Prompto asked in a trembling voice. "Do you think it's contagious?"

"Highly," Ignis answered immediately. That should keep the others from trying to confront the prince—or princess. "His temperature is high, and his throat is quite painfully swollen."

"Huh. That's why he sounded so funny," Gladio guessed, looking at Prompto. "You'd best keep your distance. My immune system could probably handle it, but you catch colds just by thinking about them."

Prompto took a nervous step back. "Uh, Ignis?" he pleaded. "Think we can have some of that special remedy…just in case?"

Ignis nodded, trying not to give away his relief. "Certainly. We'll all have some, just to be safe."

* * *

Ignis had to think fast as he began to prepare breakfast. His supposed cure for what was ailing Noct had to taste a bit off, so the others would think it some kind of medicine. He found a spice that clashed with the usual flavor of the oatmeal he typically made and poured in a generous helping with the rest of the mix. Then he tried to think of a real solution to their actual problem.

He'd never heard of someone spontaneously switching gender overnight, not even in the ancient mythology of Eos. The only explanation he had was that the Astrals must have had a hand in this, and if it was the work of the gods…what could be done about it?

Ignis wasn't certain how long they could keep this a secret from Gladio and Prompto, but he knew Noctis would likely say he'd rather die than let them find out, even if that was an exaggeration.

Ignis would need to do some research into the phenomenon. Altissia probably had the largest library outside of Insomnia, and it would be unwise for Noct to return home where he might be recognized and scandalized by the paparazzi. They could keep him covered and quiet in the car along the way, and let on that he was not recovering as expected. Ignis thought he might even be able to convince Gladio and Prompto to split from their group by telling them it was for their own health and wellbeing. Then he and Noctis could go to Altissia together and research the library's collection of religious writings for an answer.

* * *

" _That's_ your brilliant plan?!" Noct moaned when Ignis brought her breakfast and explained his idea. "We're going to a library to _read?_ While I'm stuck looking like _this?"_

Ignis wasn't used to having his strategies mocked and rejected. "I'm sorry, Noct," he apologized, "but it's the best idea I have at the moment. I promise to keep thinking. In the meantime, you should try and keep your voice down; it's…rather feminine."

"Ya think?" Noct couldn't even touch her breakfast, she was so upset. "You can't possibly know what this is like. If you did, you'd be freaking out as much as I am."

"Yes? And where would we be, if I were as panicked as you?" Ignis realized he sounded a bit harsh, and softened his tone, reaching out to touch the girl's shoulder tenderly. "Really, Noct… It's not as though you've grown three heads and traded your limbs for tentacles. It's not that bad."

"Not that bad?" Noctis had started to cry again. "I have to _pee_ , and _I don't know how!_ "

Ignis's brows rose with surprise. "Oh. Oh, yes, I see. Well, then…" He cleared his throat, reaching for a blanket. "I'll go with you and…we'll figure it out."

* * *

"Gah! What's he doing outside?!" Prompto screamed, running away from the firepit where he and Gladio had been eating their not-so-great oatmeal and funny-tasting eggs. "Get him away from me!"

"I gotta take a piss!" Noct screeched.

"Highness," Ignis warned, keeping the girl's face veiled by the blanket, "you should conserve your voice and not aggravate your sore throat, yes?" He squeezed Noct's shoulders pointedly. "Come now, let's find a bush and find you some relief."

The pair staggered off, Noctis walking blindly under the blanket.

Gladio watched them with a feeling of creeping suspicion. Prompto finally rejoined him, still complaining about Noct being out of his tent while he was contagious, spreading his germs on them. But Gladio said, "Does something feel off about this whole thing to you?"

"What do you mean, 'off'?" Prompto helped himself to a second serving of eggs, though he'd been complaining about their flavor just minutes ago.

"Well, that didn't sound like Noct. And it didn't sound like somebody with a sore throat, either."

Prompto shrugged. "He's got some kinda weird disease. Who knows what it's doing to him! All I know is that I don't want it."

"Ignis is acting strange. And…maybe it's just me, but I've never heard of any kind of sickness that shrinks your feet."

Prompto slowed his chewing, then forced himself to swallow his bite of eggs with a mouthful of water. "What the heck are you talking about?" he asked.

"Noct wears the same shoe size as Ignis, right?" Gladio explained. "That kid usually has big feet. But right now they look like they're about a size six."

"Noct is…shrinking?" Prompto paled. "Oh, no! Gladio, this sounds more serious than Ignis was letting on." He slammed his plate down onto the ground and ran a hand through his disheveled blond hair. "Oh, man. And here I was, just worrying about myself. I'll have to spend some time with him this afternoon. It might be my last chance." He felt his eyes welling up.

Gladio nodded, his gaze turning to the distance, where Ignis and "Noctis" had vanished out of sight. "You do that," he encouraged.

* * *

"I don't know how girls do this," Noct complained, stomping back to camp. "That was seriously messy."

Ignis was still blushing. "Well, I believe you'd have been fine with a proper toilet facility," he mumbled. "Camping is…a bit different, I think."

Noctis turned and whirled on him. "Are you enjoying this?" she demanded.

Ignis was taken aback. "I beg your pardon!"

Noct's hands flew to her hips. "I think you're being awfully calm about this."

"Well, one of us has to be! And you are, as you said, 'freaking out,' so the duty of remaining calm rests on my shoulders."

"How would _you_ feel?"

"I don't know, damn it!" Ignis retorted. "I'm trying to be patient, Noct, but you're making it very difficult right now."

Noctis rubbed her face with irritation. "I'm sorry. I feel all…emotional and crap."

"Come here." Ignis gingerly drew her close and into an embrace.

"See? You're totally cool with this," Noct grumbled against his chest.

"Noct…" Ignis said, stroking her hair, "I want to fix this as badly as you do, I assure you. I just also want you to be reassured nothing has changed between us. I'm not leaving you, whatever may come."

"And if I'm stuck like this forever?" Noct asked worriedly.

Ignis hugged her tighter. "Then I will remain by your side. As your advisor…and more."

Noct's arms slowly rose and wrapped around Ignis's bare waist and clung to him.

* * *

"So how is he?" Gladio asked as Ignis climbed back out of Noct's tent. They were dressed now, but didn't seem to have anything to do for the day, since they couldn't break camp.

"Cranky, as he often is when ill," Ignis said mildly. He put a hand on Gladio's shoulder and tried steering him away from the tent by taking a step forward. Gladio didn't seem inclined to follow, so he quickly thought up another excuse. "Gladio… I wonder if you might assist me in gathering some ingredients? I'm sure I saw some kettier ginger in the forest yesterday."

"You need my help for that?" Gladio asked skeptically.

"Well," Ignis thought fast, "it was nestled in with some barbed vines…so I thought you might help with cutting the briars back?"

"Oh." Gladio seemed satisfied with that explanation. "Yeah, I can do that. Let me get my knife."

Ignis breathed a sigh of relief. "Prompto," he called out to the blond boy, "Gladio and I are going into the woods to hunt some reagents for another healing concoction for Noct. Promise me you won't bother him while we're gone?"

Prompto had been trying in vain to find a four-leaf clover in the grass surrounding their campsite. He figured Noct could use all the luck he could get. "Yep!" he called back. "I'll let just him rest."

"Good." Gladio rejoined Ignis and the pair of them set off into the forest. Ignis hoped he could find something that looked at least a little similar to ginger, just in case Gladio asked.

Just as the two men disappeared from view, Prompto finally succeeded in his mission. "Yesss!" he cheered in triumph, cradling a perfectly-shaped, four-leaf clover in his hands. "Oh, I've gotta take this to Noct right away!"


End file.
